I was adopted and my parents did an excellent job of explaining how I came to be their daughter.  Here are some important guiding principles:

• Answer questions honestly. Children have questions about where they came from and parents need to answer their questions honestly (as honestly as possible considering the age and understanding of the child). Children will eventually recognize if they have been misled and the hurt feelings can be profound.

• Start when the child is young. Start discussing it when the child is very young – perhaps the age of two or three.  This allows the child to always be aware of their story even if they don’t completely understand it.  Details can be filled in later.  The difficulty in waiting until a child is old enough to understand is that it will come as a surprise and there may be hurt feelings as a result.

• Use a storybook. Using a storybook is a wonderful approach because it is something tangible that a child can treasure.  My parents had a sweet storybook that they read to me frequently – it was one of my favorites – about a family who wanted children and couldn’t have one of their own. Well, you know the rest of the story. It made me feel very special because my parents chose me out of all the other babies.

• Emphasize the positive. Any child coming to a family via either adoption or some sort of ART will at times feel a bit strange or different.  By emphasizing the positive, parents ensure that their children will always feel special and loved.  In my case, my parents emphasized that they chose me out of all the other babies.  Any child born via any form of ART is special because of all the difficulties that their parents went through in order to have them.

I will be compiling a list of storybooks and adding it to my site very soon.

This article from CBS cites as their expert Dr. Joel Batzofin who emphasizes that one of the benefits of IVM is that less stimulation of the ovaries is necessary as compared to IVF.

The technique is new and the procedures are still being perfected. It seems that in the short term the technique will not be able to help women with high FSH but perhaps down the road fewer follicles will be required in order to have a reasonable success rate.

• improving blood circulation to reproductive organs, including the endometrium, building a stronger lining
• boosting production of neurotransmitters, which contributes to an overall healthy brain and body
• helping to stabilize the nervous system, which enables your body to handle stress better
• acupuncture can de-spasm spasmed tubes from multiple tube spasm disorders

The article goes on to describe a lesser-known technique called Reiki and its potential use as a stress-reliever which can enhance fertility.

Readers also frequently ask me if I can recommend a doctor to them in their city. If there is not doctor listed on the website for your city then unfortunately the answer is no. All of my recommendations are on the site. If you are seeking a recommendation, I would encourage you to go the message boards and ask for a recommendation there and if you find a high FSH friendly RE, then please let me know.

I considered at one point actually contacting all the doctors on the list – reaching out to them in some way to either let them know they’re on the list or asking them questions, etc. I have decided to not initiate or maintain any sort of dialogue with them because once a relationship is formed it is difficult to remove a doctor from the list if necessary. I also generally do not accept requests from doctors to be added to the list unless a) they make a very persuading case, AND b) I receive a personal recommendation from one of their patients.

I cannot and do not guarantee that all experiences with these doctors will be happy ones. I cannot and do not guarantee that you will become pregnant if you see one of these doctors. And I certainly do not benefit in any way if you contact any of these doctors. All i can tell you is that if you have high FSH you do not want to waste your time with doctors who have set low maximums for their FSH cutoff and who frequently cancel cycles. Some women with high FSH have had success with these doctors and that is the only recommendation I can make.

For women who have already undergone fertility testing and possibly treatment, however, an at-home test for FSH could be indispensable. The key distinction is being able to understand the meaning of FSH and its relationship to other fertility factors. While some RE’s follow the theory that you’re only as fertile as your highest FSH indicates (and thus any subsequent FSH reading after a high reading is pointless), other RE’s feel that fertility (specifically, response to stim medications) is tied to the FSH level in an individual cycle. So, rather than trying to get to the doctor’s office on a specific cycle day, patients could do the at-home test, share the results with their RE and then plan that month’s protocol accordingly. Depending on the result, additional testing may also be required, of course, such as an ultrasound and other blood tests. But being able to do the initial FSH test at home could be extremely beneficial. It will be interesting to see how the test is used and whether RE’s feel that the results are reliable compared to their own laboratories.

It also helped me to have a plan of action in my mind. I had given myself a window of time after my initial high fsh diagnosis to keep investigating and trying with my own eggs. And I determined that after X months if I wasn’t pregnant, then we would move on to donor eggs. We were in the process of pursuing donor eggs when I became pregnant the first time. I think having an action plan – e.g., we’ll do plan A for x number of months or x number of attempts or whatever, then move on to plan B for y number of months and then on to plan C, etc. It enabled me to take things one step at a time and it helped me to understand that if plan A failed it would be very sad indeed but that we would move on to plan B. Knowing that there is a backup plan helps immeasurably. Be open to changing the plan based on circumstances, but at least go into it having a loose roadmap. The process of developing the roadmap with your partner is extremely beneficial as well because it forces you to discuss many various issues so that hopefully you both will be on the same page as the journey continues.

Another piece of advice when figuring out how to proceed is to keep trying until you get to the point that you’ve overspent – either physically, financially, or emotionally. It is possible to overspend in any of these areas and you need to know yourself well enough to stop before you’ve gone too far. The journey is incredibly difficult and only you can know if you are ready to go on or whether it’s best to change course.

Also keep in mind that your partner may need to have his own channels for working through his emotions. Encourage him to get the support he needs also so that he doesn’t keep his emotions bottled up. The journey will be easier for both of you if you tap into the many sources of support that are available.